The Every Day Win

When I tell people I’ve only recently started knowing what it feels like to have true self esteem and confidence, I always get the response, but you don’t strike me as a person who lacks confidence or self esteem.   

In my earlier post I talked about keeping your peace, and building a healthy space for yourself. Well this includes knowing when to speak up and when to keep quiet. 

Knowing when to be silent is not to say you’re weak, but in fact knowing what and who is worth the effort and energy of your thoughts, views and voice.

It is part of setting boundaries with others but for yourself. It’s actually about increasing your value with yourself and subtly educating those around you about who you are.

’m on a journey this year, it’s a solo journey that requires me to focus on inner growth and peace. 

n February a lovely young lady slid into my dm, no it’s not what you think, this new friend dm’ed me the question what your why? We had a late March I had an interesting call/ interview with my new friend from Instagram; She asked me the question, “what’s your why?”

At first I didn’t understand the question and felt a bit suss about the question, my paranoia kicked in and it felt a bit random and vague, so I asked “what do you mean, what’s my eye?” my new friend cleared up her question and explained the question.

Her question was more about what was it about me, my background, my experience that made me who I had become? What made me tick and view the world the way she perceived I did. 

I can tell you what stress and overwhelm feels like.

I can tell you what feeling trapped and wanting to run away feels like. When I was at my worst, I shut down, and got locked up within my body and my mind.

I hated who I had become, I went from being an energetic, happy fun loving person to a shadow of my former self. I hated who would look back at me in the mirror every time I saw her.

• What is Self Care?

The Oxford dictionary defines Self Care as the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health. or The practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. 

In 2018 it all became too much and I couldn’t keep juggling all the items on my plate. Boy! I hated myself, my self value was down, my energy was depleted and I had nothing to give out to anyone. What made it even worse was that I was fully aware there was something wrong, but I didn’t know how to break out of it. I resigned from a job I had loved and believed I was once thriving in, and stepped away from a sector I thought was designed to develop and empower people - Education.

I was signed off with work related stress and needed to find me again. That’s when I came across two women who helped me begin to see that there was light at the end of the tunnel again. The first lady I started listening to in March 2018 is a lady by the name Patrice Washington - Her podcast is called ‘Redefining Wealth’ and her advice was simple: redefine your wealth and value by pursuing your purpose. I was here for that message! The second lady Christine Hassler taught me to dig deep, and look at where my trauma came from, and why it was still a running theme in my life. AgainI need to hear this news; it was all new to me. I learnt about my’ inner child’ that was looking for validation and acknowledgement by those I trusted the most but was left  still waiting and wanting. These two women taught me the importance of taking care of myself, making myself a priority (without ego) and carving time out to heal myself in any way that only I could, instead of waiting for someone to ‘fix’ me.

So I’m passing that advice and knowledge onto you.

Self care is not about being selfish, we don’t preach that over here. As humans we should always strive to be givers, and nurturers. Not takers or users.

Self care is making a commitment to look after yourself so you can show up for yourself and others around you.

It's part of your ministry, part of your purpose.

Self care can be anything you think will help you feel, think and live better. It is booking in time in your diary every month to do the simple things like get your hair, nails, toes and anything you know will help you physically feel better. Self care is also booking in ‘quiet time’ with yourself, if that includes journaling, do so; if that is praying 10 minutes each morning and night then do that too.

Self care is a practice of entering a contract with yourself to understand you better, love you better, know you better. In knowing yourself you will know how to serve others, and put boundaries in place with people and things that do not increase your value, or feed your mind and soul.

Self care can look like be any and all of this:

Self care is doing the inner and outer work to develop You! 

I use a commitment contract with my client that they feed into and sign as a contract to honour themselves and their vision for their health, mental health, passion, vision, pursuits and purpose.

To learn the tools of how to care for yourself and more, contact Taiya Soul at Taiya Soul Coaching website. I want you to live your life Soulfully and successfully whatever you do.